it's late but thanks for coming.

Today, I'd like to talk about me.

My name is Jihye Chung

I am from south Korea and grown up in rural country side.

Have you plowed a field before you go to school?

I did it. when young, I lived with Grandma and dad, my older brother.

Before going to school, My grandma woke me up at morning and let me work in the field. only me. She didn't let my brother work! (why grandma?)

I grown up without mom. 

My parent lived apart from each other and mom left when I was 8 years old.

I didn't even know where she lives and what she's doing, or still alive.

I still remember that my friend said she doesn't wanna hangout with me 

Because her parent knew I don't have mom and said to her 'Don't be closed and hangout with her'

When I was high school freshman, my grandma passed away 

and my brother moved on other city for his college

my dad was too busy due to his business.

So I lived in my aunt's home for couple months and then moved on school dormitory

Eventually made a decision to live alone at home.

I was so bright at school but felt lonely at home.

Missed completed family and Love.

But When I was 18 years old, Something happened to our family.

My dad, even if he was graduated from seminary and became pastor,

He didn't wanna keep doing and then quit. 

Someday he said, He can't do anything anymore and would like going back to God.

My brother and me said "Dad, that's impossible. 

For restarting as pastor, You need Mom but You don't even contact with her at all"

He asked me to contact to mom and I called to her.

And she said " you already know jihye, I can't live with your dad."

I expected her response. 

However after the day morning, She called me back and said to me 

She wanna live with dad.

Halleluiah!

So How have they been living now?

They have lived happily and sometimes go to travel together

I haven't seen My parent look so happy like now before. 

My brother and me say this 'God's miracle'

To be honest, sometimes feel little nerves if this happiness would break down.

When young, I couldn't feel my family's love but now I've been feeling it 

even it's little late.

Miss you all. 

당신을 의지하고 따라갑니다.

미국에서 지난지 어느새 9개월이 되었다.

지금 돌이켜 보면 그래도 열심히 이곳에서 지내온거 같다.

다른 언어와 문화속에서 사는게 쉽지 않을걸 알고 있었지만 예상했던 것보다

적응하기가 무척 힘들었다.

하지만 그때마다 나에게 극복할수 있는 지혜를 주신 하나님과

힘들때마다 격려해주고 도와준 여러 사람들에게 감사드린다.

귀국을 3개월을 앞둔 지금 

많은 생각들이 내 머리속에 맴돌고 있다.

'미국에서 공부하고 싶다'

하지만 어떻게?

연약한 내 생각으론 '과연 어떻게 나의 힘으로 할수 있을까'에 초점이 

맞춰져 있다. 

한달 사례비가 100만원도 안되는 가난한 시골교회 목사님 딸이

일년에 몇천만원이 드는 유학비를 어떻게 마련할 것인가를 생각하며

내 기준을 낮추고 현실에 나를 맞추려고만 했다.

지금까지 하나님의 수많은 응답과 그 증거들을 경험했음에도 불구하고

연약한 나는 순전히 나의 생각만으로 결정을 할려고 한다.

지금의 내 눈에 보이는 장애들로 나의 선을 긋고 그것들을 판단하고

내 의지대로 살려고 한다.

'내 인생이니까'

하지만 그렇지 않다.

'나의 인생은 나의 것이 아니다'

나는 순전히 하나님의 계획과 그의 선한 공동체를 만들기 위한

도구이며 일부분일 뿐이다. 

하나님께서는 그런 나를 쓰실려고 날 훈련시키셨고 많은 경험을 통해
나를 더욱 성숙하고 지혜롭게 하신다.

주님께선 내가 현실에 안주하고 주어진 내 환경을 탓하며 살아가길
원하시지 않는다.
언제나 부족한 환경속에서도 나는 풍족함을 느꼈고 하나님의 놀라운 능력을
진실로 경험했다.
그런 내가 어찌 세상을 원망하며 내꿈을 포기 하겠는가.

얼마전 어머니와 미국 유학의 꿈에 대해 이야기하다
크게 감동 받은것이 있다.
어머니는 물질적으로 가난한것으로 당신을 불행히 여기시지 않으셨다.
그리고 늘 끊임없는 기도로 나에게 힘을 주셨다.
물질적으로 가난하나 우린 영적으로 풍족하다.
그리고 엊그제부터 이 기도제목을 놓고 40일 기도를 시작했다.

주님
저는 가난한 집에서 태어나 제대로 된 학원도 다녀본적도 없고
급식비 한번 제 날짜에 내볼수 없었고
수능과 동시에 안해본 일이 없었습니다.
이곳 미국에 오기위해서 학교도 휴학하고 12시간씩 밤낮으로
일만 했습니다.
솔직히 가끔씩 내가 만약 풍족한 환경에서 태어나
부모님의 능력으로 돈 걱정없이 내가 하고싶은것들 원없이 했으면
얼마나 좋았을까 하고 생각했습니다.
하지만
제 환경을 탓하고 싶지 않습니다.

나에겐 당신이 있지 않습니까.

등록금을 걱정할때 지혜와 명철을 주셔서
학과 수석으로 전액 장학금을 받게 하셨고
꿈을 고민하던 제게 노동변호사라는 꿈을 꾸게 하셨고
부족한 환경속에서도 미국이라는 이 머나먼 땅으로 보내어
이 곳에서 나를 쓰시고 많은 것을 경험하게 하셨습니다.

주님
저는 제 힘으로는 아무것도 할수 없습니다.
제 처지에선 도저히 할수 없습니다.
그래서 몇번이고 마음을 고쳐먹고 현실에 만족하려고 했습니다.
주변에선 빨리 학교를 졸업하고 취업이나 하라고 합니다.
유학이 어디 쉬운 일이냐며 혀를 차고
지금의 내 형편을 생각하라고 합니다.
그리고 욕심이라고 말합니다.
하지만 계속 저는 이 낯선땅을, 이곳에서 공부하고 싶은 이 마음을
제 마음에서 도저히 떨쳐 낼수가 없습니다.

주님 저에게 힘을 주세요
 불가능한것도 가능한것으로 바꾸시는 주님의 능력을 믿습니다.
그리고 계속 주님께 끊임없는 기도로 응답을 기다리겠습니다.

아멘

I have been praying for you

Hello! Friends. 

It's been a while since I wrote last blog in Jan.

Now I am writing this blog in Grant Park which closed with YAV house and one of my favorite places in Atlanta. 

Here's so quite to think past couple months and write my thinking.

 

So... How are you doing? haha I am doing great.

 

I almost get used to live in USA and My English is also get proved than before. 

Yay! 

So I have been enjoying going work and talking with people. 

I remember the time I first went shopping alone without helping. 

I didn' t get "one for one" (I hadn't heard that in korea) 

I asked this to worker and she explained it very friendly 

but I couldn't say " Please Say Again!" And then I asked this to another worker 

but unfortunatly I couldn't understand it again. 

Eventually after asking another worker again, I could understand it! 

How dumm I was!

And I make many friends in Action ministries which I have been volunteering now.

 They are really care of me and like me! Thanks y'all. But every people are not nice.

 I was serving fried chicken last thursday.

 Some lady came to me and asked getting chicken so I said to her if you sit on there I will go please wait just one seconds.

 But She just took it from my hand. I was so angry and tried to say something about her bad attitude. 

But she didn't listend me and then yalled at me "Say in English!!!" OMG. Oh Lord, what is this lady yalling at me? 

I was so sad and shocked. I told this happening to friends and they were also angry and helped me feeling better with good advises.

 Ms.Katherin, my supervisor, ran to her and then said if you don't want to apologize it to Jihye, Never come to again!

 Wow. I am not alone! thanks to Everyone. 

They are really good friends and deal me like their daughter even if we grown up in different countries and cultures. Age and language is not matter to us.

I had financial problem in my school last month. I was so concerned on and felt blue. However, It was solved well and I forgot it for while. But last Monday, My friend Kahreeta asked me how's it going on school problem. 

I said her It was solved well. As soon as said this, Her face became bright and congratuated me. And she said "I have been praying for you! Don't be worried and just pray to God And say to me. I'll always pray for you." How beautiful her mind is. She seems like my Mom. 

Sometimes when I have something worried, I tell her this. And she always gives me warm and sweet tea and listens me. She is going to move on Florida next month. I'm so sad but would like to pray for her like she does for me.